Doing My Little Bit

Sometimes I’m not sure who the guy is that is staring back at me from the mirror. A huge part of me still sees life from a younger vantage point and really believes that I’m still a teenager, or a college kid, or a young married adult…certainly closer to 20 than 40.

But in reality, the guy in the mirror is me. And he has a lot of memories compared to those younger guys. Great memories- Washington DC on July 4, a rainbow over the beach after a summer thunderstorm, seeing the beauty of the whole world in the eyes of my daughter, experiencing and loving life through the good and the bad with my wife.

Of course there are bad memories, a lot of them. They put a different tint on all of the other memories, but they don’t govern my 40 years and that’s for another blog.

As I think about the future, about where God is taking me, about his plans for me, I also think a lot about the past. I tend to be pretty hard headed and have a history of being somewhat slow in responding to God’s ever-changing world and ways. God often has to kind of shake my world in order for me to do the next thing. I’m not sure if its fear or confusion or stubbornness that hinders me at times- I just know that the Lord has to push me pretty hard and that this is my pattern.

I’m still not clear about all that the future holds or about all that the Lord wants me to do. But as I look at the man in the mirror, as I think about my adult life, as I review my experiences with God, as I read the Bible, some clarity is coming.

I recently heard Andy Stanley teach and was amazed at how Andy was talking directly to me through the TV (don’t be alarmed- people don’t talk to me through the TV very often). Here’s the gist of it- God doesn’t call you to do the impossible so much as he calls you to do what you can do and then he’ll do the rest. He doesn’t call you to feed 5000 people- he tells you to bring and give what you have. He doesn’t call you to walk on the water- he invites you to get out of the boat.

I can do that. I can bring what I have and give it all. I can get out of the boat. He’ll do the rest.

But will I do it? Will I get out of the boat? Will I give everything, however much or little it is? I hope and pray so, because I’d love to see 5000 people get fed and to walk on water. I’d love to become less hard headed and more quickly obedient.