In It for the Long Haul at The Sanctuary Fellowship

People leave churches for a lot of reasons. In 20+ years of ministry, I’ve seen people leave churches for great reasons but for the most part I’ve seen people leave churches over petty, personal, preferential issues.

I know I’m “supposed” to say this, but I do believe it- I am blessed beyond measure to be a part of The Sanctuary Fellowship. What a wonderful place to seek the Lord, to love others, and to grow in faith and wisdom. I thought that would be true before I came on staff 3 years ago, and I’ve come to know it as precious truth in that time span.

At our Life Group on Sunday, we talked about fellowship and intense fellowship and how that can, does and doesn’t happen at our church. Great discussion! Someone said something like, “I’m not sure people have a true appreciation or understanding of what we are about at The Sanctuary. If they did, no one would ever leave.” I agree with this! I truly believe that if you are aware of who we are and how we so practically and encouragingly live the Gospel, that if you value sincere worship and transparent leadership- you won’t ever leave.  Doesn’t mean we don’t have gaps to fill or shortcomings in our ministry efforts, but we are right on track in terms of who we are and what we are trying to accomplish and much of the environment that it can happen in.

So, as we live life together and seek to be everything God wants us to be at The Sanctuary, I thought I’d post this blog as an encouragement to all of us to be here together for the long haul- in instruction, correction, worship, corporate praise, teaching, wisdom, grace, and intense fellowship.

I love it at The Sanctuary Fellowship and one of the reasons I do is because you’re here, I’m here, my family is here, my forever family is here, and I’m excited to see who else the Lord brings here! Let’s live Christianity together for as long as possible!

I also have a deep desire for and concern about the long-term health of our congregation. I want us to be as healthy as we can and whenever someone does need to leave, I want the Kingdom Body to be as healthy as possible.

Was thinking about all of this and read the following blog.  Edited for space- hope its a good read!- Pastor Joe

From the blog RonnieChristian.com:
If you are unhappy with a [healthy] church…, it’s very likely that the problem is NOT the church, but yours. Maybe you are hung up on some trivial issue, your feelings have been hurt, you struggle with discontent from other personal problems, or you just don’t like being challenged towards spiritual maturity.

Here are six things to consider before leaving a church:

1. Don’t leave out of your personal discontent. If discontent is rooted within you, it will follow you wherever you go, regardless of what church you attend…. Whenever a person finds dissatisfaction with several congregations, you can be assured that the problem is their own, not the church’s.

2. Don’t leave a church because your feelings got hurt. Hurt feelings are a “violation of self interests” and are usually a result of being too self-sensitive. In any church or gathering of people there may be many offensive things said or done, mostly unintended, but you don’t have to let yourself become offended. Those who are easily offended may simply be immature, too self-centered, or may retain self-sensitivities due to past, festering wounds. Hurt feelings are probably the greatest reason why people leave churches, but deepening your roots in Christ and His word can immunize you against such tenderness. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165 KJV).

3. Don’t leave a church because you transferred your own personal frustrations there. Sometimes unhappiness toward the church is a symptom other personal problems such as: family or marital difficulties, job dissatisfaction, personal offenses, memories of childhood abuse, mental stress, emotional illness, and so forth. People who struggle with deep internal problems sometimes develop a distorted estimation of the people or situations around them, and may blame them, including the church, for their anguish. Generally speaking, the church is not your problem. Remember that it and its ministers are there because they love you and want to help you — not hurt you. So avoid pushing off your feelings of disappointment from other areas of our life onto the church.

4. Don’t leave a church over trivial criticisms. — People sometimes have a remarkable ability of making a mountain out of molehill. I’ve known people to change churches merely because they didn’t like the way the pastor combed his hair, the length of the services, how the bulletin was typed, or other silly reasons.

Of all the many excuses that persons use to leave a church, trivial criticisms is the most shallow. If all you seem to do is criticize and find fault with the church, you have an attitude problem. Regardless of where you go to church, you’ll find similar faults again, because the problem isn’t with the church — the problem is with you.

5. Don’t leave a church because you are being challenged to grow up into a mature disciple. Many people do not understand that spiritual growth requires confronting and overcoming the conflict that’s within ourselves (James 1:3-4). The environment of the church provides two important features of your spiritual growth: (1) Church leaders (authorities) who will challenge you with truth and correct you when you are wrong. And (2) an environment of fellow believers, all of whom are imperfect, some worse than others, and whose rough edges will serve as sandpaper to smooth out your rough spots. “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Prov. 27:17).

If you really think you are so spiritual, then prove it by getting close to your brothers and sisters in the church and staying put. Then you’ll find out what’s really inside you. People are like “mirrors” in which we can see ourselves as we really are. If there’s bitterness or a lack of love within you, it will become exposed when people rub you the wrong way. It you lack patience with other people, it will be manifested. If you can’t get along with church leaders, it will soon reveal itself in rebellion. If you are a fault-finder, it will surface when you see the sinful imperfection in others.

Spiritual maturity is proven in the context of relationships in the church. That is how God has designed it. It doesn’t matter how much your feelings got hurt or how imperfect or unspiritual your brethren might be. This does not justify your intolerance or impatience with them. Neither are your criticisms of church leaders justified when they challenge your towards discipleship or have to make decisions in which you didn’t get your way. These attitudes are characteristics of your own immaturity – a weakness that is within YOU that needs to be perfected.

This is why some people run from church to church – it’s easier to abandon people than it is to stay planted and work their way through the tough stuff. It’s easier to start over in a new church than it is to be challenged through convicting preaching or correction. But that’s not God’s way.

If a person remains an “island” unto themselves they will never have to face up to the spiritual immaturity within them. Conversely, being in an environment with other imperfect people in the church will cause them to face the conflicts that must be overcome in order to grow up. A sign of a spiritually mature person is that they can be loving and patient with anyone (1 John 2:10, Gal. 5:22-23), and they can humbly submit themselves to truth and the correction of godly leaders (Heb. 13:17).

6. Don’t leave a church until you have contributed in some way to try help make it better. Some people come to church with the mistaken notion that it is simply a provider of entitlements for them, and nothing more. They shop for a church as one might shop for fast food. “Do you have a youth pastor that will play with my kids? Does your church offer an aerobics class? How about free counseling? Is there a fully staffed nursery I can use? Will the church pay my power bill?” And when the church doesn’t meet their expectations, they drop out.

It may be that your church can’t meet those expectations. Instead, you should find out what direction your church is headed, what their action plan is to get there, and then get on board with that agenda – rather than your agenda.

Have you prayed for the leaders? Have you made yourself to serve or help in areas of ministry where the church actually needs you? Have you contributed your time, money, effort, and skills to the church in sacrificial living? Have you humbly followed the direction of your church’s leaders? Have you done anything to make your church better? Before you leave, you should.